There are times when a melancholy overtakes me fully
And I fall deep into an alley; I stay in that mode for long
And am reminded of all the wrongs
That is done to me and also the good that I did to others.
I turn into a selfish being
And criticize all without seeing
Deep within me I know what’s right
But still all my reasoning just goes out of sight
In that imaginary terrain
I think of only the losses
Conveniently forgetting all the gains
Those relationships have given me over the years
Oh! How I wish such moods are rare
After all what is this life
If full of disappointment for what I couldn’t be…
I was walking down the memory lane today and wondered how time teaches us life’s small lessons. How little things in life are so interrelated, how everything is destined to be this way wherein you learn to improve yourself. I am a firm believer of the fact that life is like a sea whatever you give in comes back to you.
Every now and then I am in a situation where I feel trapped by my guilt for doing something embarrassing or probably doing something that doesn’t let me look confidently in the mirror. It is so illogical since it had been me all this while and yet I tend to lose track of my doings.
I might sound very philosophical and a complete theorist in here but to come to think of it rationally, every once in a while we go through a phase when all our past, subconsciously, comes whopping back to us, asking justifications for the deed we did and deep in our souls we fall into some uncalled-for depression. This phase is one in which I just move into a stance and live in there till I’ve figured out all the rights and wrongs. Hence I am here waiting for the moment wherein I will be perfectly able to see a clear picture of myself in front of my eyes, discovering the changes in my personality and wondering how much I’ve changed from that silly little girl living in a fantasy world, that gave her a feeling of contentment deep inside, to this suppressed soul, not by someone but my own dumbness and carelessness. I am haunted by the moments I lied to someone or those when I lied to myself for things that weren’t worth it. I always wonder why it’s so difficult to say sorry, and mean it, when that is what you desperately need to do.
Someone said to me “never let your past destroy your present because that ways your present would destroy your future and that is not something you would ever want to happen to you” so true and I guess that is why at times you just need to stay still at one place, away from everyone, and figure your past out. Sometimes a little inactivity is all we need to realise the direction that we are giving to our lives. I believe if you ignore this then you might just lose out on the minute lessons that life has kept in store to teach us! We can’t just sit in a corner waiting for an angel to drop by heaven and show guide us in being a better human being.
I was wondering today why it is so difficult to be completely correct all our lives so that we just don’t fall into weird situations, and then a thought stumbled upon me and suddenly everything was clear in front of my eyes. When god was sending us down here he promised us a life worth living and an awesome journey right ahead us. Paving all correct ways for us right from the start would make life a boring deal so we need to have our share of ups and downs for gaining some level of wisdom while we are here. Plus an excess of good becomes too much at times and we definitely need that something else to spice up our lives. And this much optimism is enough for me to survive through this situation and be adventurer, enjoying life as we know it.
No one can go back in time and create a perfect beginning for himself, but everyone can start today and create a perfect ending for themselves. This life is a highway and I'm going to ride it, every day's a windy road. My rollercoaster's got the biggest ups and downs and as long as it keeps going round it’s unbelievable!!!
6 comments:
“never let your past destroy your present because that ways your present would destroy your future and that is not something you would ever want to happen to you” so true and I guess that is why at times you just need to stay still at one place, away from everyone, and figure your past out.
thank you. i am not the only one. :)
oh well the credit actually goes to someone who said it to me.... n v r not the only ones sailing in this boat... there are many more with the same feelings!!!
that was really nice and very well written.... in the first few lines i felt as if my life is being written here and reading furthur ,well, clarified my doubts about this life.... kudos to u and to the one who quoted those beautiful lines to you....“never let your past destroy your present because that ways your present would destroy your future and that is not something you would ever want to happen to you”! i hope you are more confident about yourself now..... because at such junctures of life self-confidence is what we need the most, believing in ourself and our conduct!! :)
Awesome post,one of the best ones i'v read i must say,though a lot contradictory to my beliefs,but well written none the less.I'v written something in quite the opposite sense,i'd love to listen to someone's view on the other side of the coin :)Great job
people blame the past 4 all bad things happening in present........by doing so they r repeating the same what they did in past and making the future miserable......its time 2 undo the past and make a better future.........we should learn from past rather than 2 blame it
true bineet but i do feel u shud knw very well wat u did in the past n take full responsibility n then leave the topic completely cuz u can never undo ur past!
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